Always Take a Goat to the Party

So how do you make friends with the Obama family and ensure access to all the key players in Kenya as their relative vies to become the most powerful man in the world? The answer, of course, is always, always take a goat to the party.
I found John for sale at the side of the road. My driver said he was just what I wanted: Big bellied and large-testicled meant he would make excellent nyama choma (roasted meat). And for 2500 shillings he was something of a bargain.
It goes without saying that Abongo Malik Obama, Obama’s elder half-brother, was delighted. And I’ve got a rather nice feature.

There’s only one thing to take to a Kenyan election victory feast: a goat. Preferably still breathing – “a sign of freshness“ – and with big testicles, apparently the sign of quality breeding.
And so it was that I found myself bouncing along a dirt track towards the ancestral home of the Obamas in a saloon car with the sound of John the goat bleating miserably from the boot.